this is the first fully formed version of this song that i'd recorded. i'd recently upgraded my set up and was recording on actual pro tools, and so i had a lot more at my disposal in terms of midi instruments.
i'd always known i'd wanted the song to have a string section, i envisioned it as a 'tonight, tonight' kind of tune. this is the first iteration of that dream.
it was my first time really trying to write out a string section (which i'd do again on 'of course you end up becoming yourself' and the final version of this song that ended up on 'where the dead pause, and the japanese say goodbye').
lyrics
life is a prison, holding you in
i'll never forget those who put me in
into this madhouse, this war slewn place
we'll live for a while until it ends in our face
and we'll never be the same
from when we were first put into
this life, i never wanted anything i got
although there are things here i'll never give up
if you don't live for something, then you will find
that you died for nothing
cause you never tried
and all the things we never wanted
will always mean the most
when you lose your focus
your dreams don't seem so close
but if you reach for them
and fall from your place
at least you'll fall knowing
you tried to escape
from all your dark misery
you stayed with me until today
to endure the symptoms, the sickness so clear
and in my decision, the end is near
some may be broken, some disturbed
but all i want is someone like her
some things are broken, some fall apart
but on the horizon, i see the start
of all i have wanted out of this life
i'll hold on to it until i die
some things remembered
some disappear
some people change while the rest,
they stay near
i gave up on you but not on myself
life is a prison, thru the bars i yell
credits
from 2014,
released December 20, 2021
casey k: drums, bass, guitars, midi programming, vox
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